Self Help ~ I'm stuck! Now what?

pswenson's picture


Patrice Swenson

Life Coach, Business Coach & Inspirational Speaker

The first step in turning your life situation around is letting it be OK that you feel whatever you feel right now. Sometimes I call that place, "phucketville". It's not a bad place; it's an honest place; when you don't know where to go, might not feel the greatest and just want it to be OK that you feel negative, lost, and sometimes even sorry for yourself. One of the most powerful steps toward a positive life is being honest about how you're feeling and then deciding what you want to do with those feelings, situations and life dilemmas. Positive people come out of learning how to use negative, difficult and challenging situations to produce positive, effective outcomes; that starts by noticing what you feel and embracing whatever it is, so you can use it!                                                                              

Do you find yourself stuck in your life situation and not sure how to get UN-STUCK? Here's a few steps to get you started!


1. DEFINE the situation you feel stuck in with a word or phrase! Ok, now EXPAND on that word or phrase.

How we define anything, even what a simple word means to us may be where the puzzle begins to look solvable. If you sat down right now with a friend, lover, partner or business / co-worker and you both wrote the definition of anything; it would likely vary, based on how you have lived your life so far, the education, friends, family, circumstances, travel, encounters, connections and experiences. Perhaps you are stuck because your view is narrow; if so, enlarge your view. Examine your definition; does it fit with YOUR values or the values that have been handed down to you, expected of you or given to you without question? We often feel stuck simply because we are beginning to question our values, based on new information, experiences, and connections. It doesn't mean what you've lived or learned so far is wrong; it means you are evolving and confirming those values or developing new ones. Be open to re-define and re-invent YOU. If you're not sure what is right for you, simply feel your body when you say what you want, what you need, what you are doing, or what you are not doing. Pay close attention to the messages your body gives when you say the words, think the thoughts or do the actions. We are ALL intuitive beings and we have a glorious network of connections in our body that guide us to discover more.

2. BE CURIOUS about YOU!

Albert Einstein summed it up best when he said, “I have no special talents. I'm only passionately curious". Be passionately curious about who you are, what you need, what you want and look at your current situation as a curious by-stander. Observation prevails a more wise and insightful response than a quick reaction. Quite often we feel an emotion and we are not responding to the situation, we are re-acting to our emotion about the situation. Pause, get curious; ask questions silently; ponder what you're feeling in that moment and become wise in the pursuit of what you want most and what you hope to achieve in the current situation. Ask yourself what actions might contribute to the goal(s) you have in this situation. You will find a very different outcome when you become curious. Don't confuse curiosity with judgment. If you take a genuine interest in anyone, or anything, including yourself, you become curious. When you interpret curiosity and interest as judgment; you too, are judging. Do you want to be judged or be interesting and curious? If you have questions about the situation for another person, remember, curiosity is inquiring, not firing...yes TONE MATTERS; even with yourself! Questions that come from curiosity, come with a tone of interest and invite answers, questions that come from judgment sound like statements and come without an inviting quality.

3. CREATE in the NOW!

You have probably all heard the great wisdom of living in the now and using the past to learn from and the future to look forward to but I am going to ask you to ponder another thought. Where can you create? Can you create a past in the past? Can you create a future in the future? NO, you can't! What can you do TODAY, to make the situation you feel stuck in be a situation you feel empowered and inspired by? It may help to re-frame the situation. Even the most tragic situations have spurred some powerful passions that led to enormous impact not only for the person in a given situation but for people that became involved, evolved, and empowered by the tenacity of one soul! That soul stance is possible for anyone and everyone! No matter what your dilemma is, be it personal, professional, devastating or defining, when you use it to create something, you give it power and meaning. What will you create? What type of power and meaning do you want in your life situation? Defining moments come to us as challenges. Challenge is the free enterprise of creativity! What will you create today? What is your small step? What is your giant step? What is your first step, and when will you take it? One thing that really hit home for me when I was creating Rainbow in the Puddle and struggling to turn a dream into a reality was when I overheard a random stranger say, “You can never be the best at anything you don’t start”. I never knew if it was an original quote and I never knew who the stranger was that passed by, but I knew it was powerful and I felt blessed to hear it. Be the BEST YOU possible! Creating begins by believing you can create. 


We often feel stuck. Simply because we are evolving from who we were to whom we are becoming. It's OK; in fact it's amazing, so EMBRACE it!  

“Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I have to go on liking it at all points in time as an unthinking act of loyalty to who I am as a person, based solely on who I was as a person. To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think. The only thing I am for sure is unsure, and this means I’m growing, and not stagnant or shrinking.” Jarod Kintz~

 Home Page

Submit a letter to the Coach for our Puddle Coach Column

Check out all 4 of our blogs 

Get a FREE coaching session for Business or Personal Coaching