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Puddle Coach Column ~ Q&A / Relationships/Long Distance: Lost in the Distance

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Puddle Coach Column, by Patrice Swenson                                                                                                                     Have a question for the Puddle Coach? Submit here

 

Dear Puddle Coach,                                                                                                                                                                                        Patrice Swenson, Puddle CoachDescription: Description: Description: http://www.rainbowinthepuddle.com/sites/default/files/images/Life%20Coach%20Pic%20for%20Business%20Card_2.jpg

I would like to know what you think about long distance relationships. I’m a single woman, in my 30's, and don't have any kids. I have been seeing someone I met via work related travels. We don’t live close but we have a common link with our careers that brings us together. It’s been great but I’d like more. I want to be in a relationship with him and he asked me how I feel about long distance. The distance between us is about 12 hours. As much as I enjoy him, I can’t decide if this would be a good thing or not. I did long distance once in college and I felt like my heart was up and down and it was stressful to say the least! I think this guy is worth seeing what more might come out of it, but I just don’t know if distance can work. He’s very optimistic and I’d like to say I am too, but after we part and I get home, I start thinking of all the reasons this wouldn’t work and then I feel a little distant. He’s asked me if anything is wrong and I didn’t want to ruin things between us, so I haven’t really said much about my reservations. I really need somewhere to turn and I saw this column recently on Facebook, so here I am. I feel like a teenager! Lol. Looking for some direction here…can you help me out?

Lost in the Distance ~

Dear Lost in the Distance,

Thank you for writing to me; I’m glad that you found the column; welcome to Rainbow in the Puddle!

It sounds like you are really putting a lot of time and thought into your decision to pursue this relationship. Are you a person that generally likes to weigh the head and the heart to strike a balance? If so, you’re on track to putting the balance in place. Quite often, matters of the heart, don’t align with our head, however, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing; sometimes we don't feel alignment because we are clouding it with fear. What might be important in your decision is to figure out if this is a matter of balancing your head and your heart or overcoming your fears. Are you afraid of something not working out because of your past? If that is factoring into this decision, you might do well to let the past go and give the present moment the opportunity to be most powerful in your life. I’d love to say I know what you need to do, but I don’t, and ONLY you can determine that, but here are some observations and questions for you to help you with your decision. If you do not pursue this opportunity, will you always wonder what might have been? If you do pursue this opportunity, can you give it a full chance by being present in the now? Do you see possibilities for each of you to do the traveling or how could you setup a plan together to sustain the relationship at a distance?

Sometimes we go with our heart and that’s great, but we also might benefit to use our head and consider how we plan to sustain what we want. That is by NO means meaning we should abandon what our heart wants most, rather it is to utilize the unlimited potential of both the head and the heart, working together for amazing results. Even the greatest passion and desire and dreams can fall down when we forget to use our head to help us sustain many things, and romance is no different. Love and logic can be partners or enemies; it depends how you allow your head and heart to mingle. Enjoy the bliss you feel, and if you ache for this opportunity, chances are you can use your head to help you get exactly what you want out of it! In my own experience, I’ve been known to do the most foolish things for love, yet I had the most amazing time doing them, and wouldn't change a thing. My head isn't always in the moment with my heart, but that's ok, my head helps me when my heart is having its own weak moments! The magic of making it work for you is finding out your own personal balance between your head and heart. When you see your head and heart as partners working toward the same goals, desires and passions, you'd be surprised how much the inner struggles turn from turmoil to achieving even more than you ever thought possible! I'm betting you find a way to make this into a great opportunity!

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